Many people think the main difference between married and single dating is the fact that married dating does not end with a goodnight kiss on the doorstep.

Being a married man, I feel confident in my ability to address this issue along—with an occasional tirade or two from my wife, Karen, contained in the audio file above.

There are many qualitative differences between married and single dating.

• Married dates are more private. Married dating is between you and your spouse. Although my wife and I still go on the occasional group date with other married couples, we typically go it alone—camping in Provo Canyon, weekends in Moab or Zion’s National Park, etc.

• Married dates are intimate. I know what you are thinking—not that kind of intimacy. A date with my wife feels different. I feel closer, more a part of her when we go out.

Although there are many differences between the types of dates married people go on and the dates that single people enjoy, one theme almost always occurs when single people ask me what makes married dating different: money.

When I was a single freshman living in Deseret Towers I was financially-free. Who cares that I spent $70-plus on a date with the beautiful woman who is now my wife? My paycheck was more than enough to cover expensive dates, or clothes that my girlfriend wanted me to buy for her.

Now that I am married, my wife considers herself lucky if I buy her the more expensive pack of Ramen noodles. You married men know what I’m talking about; that generic brand of Ramen just doesn’t compare with the Top Ramen brand, but it’s like 2 cents cheaper a packet!

But seriously, the belief that married dating is a bore is not true at all. You just need to be creative.

I know there are guys who cannot come up with a date more creative than a trip to Movies 8. Movie-goers, if you are worried that your future spouse will get tired of 50-cent Tuesday, you can always enjoy dinner and a movie in a more spiritual setting. The Provo Temple has a nice cafeteria.

The reason why so many people feel married dating is not as fun as single dating, is because you have to work much harder when you are married (sorry guys, it’s true). It is all too easy to become complacent with hanging out and watching TV with your spouse.

While I was single I had to be on my toes to impress women. Dates had to be fun because I wanted her to like me. The difference is now I want dates to be fun because I love my wife.

Copyright Brigham Young University 14 Mar 2002