*Sunday morning session

After losing his wife nearly six months ago, President Gordon B. Hinckley paid tribute to his beloved companion and to women in the church, telling members – especially men – to uplift instead of belittle their marriage companions.

“When all is said and done, there is no association richer than the companionship of husband and wife,” said President Hinckley, speaking Sunday morning at the church’s 174th Semiannual General Conference.

The church’s leader lost his wife only two days after last April’s conference. In his Sunday address, he reflected on their life together.

“Before I married her, she was the girl of my dreams,” he said. “She was my dear companion for more than two thirds of a century, my equal before the Lord – really my superior. Now in my old age, she has again become the girl of my dreams.”

President Hinckley told members that many men do not value or respect women enough. He cited Jesus’ treatment of women as an example for all men to follow. He asked rhetorically why “even though Jesus placed woman in a position of preeminence, so many men who profess his name fail to do so.”

President Hinckley said he has seen too many marriages end in tragedy because of arrogance and degradation.

“There are some men who in the spirit of arrogance think they are superior to women,” he said. “They do not seem to realize that they would not exist but for the mother who gave them birth. When they assert their superiority, they demean her. It has been said: Man cannot degrade women without himself falling into degradation. He cannot elevate her without at the same time elevating himself. How very true that is.”

He noted that men are mainly to blame for creating the conditions for divorce. In his estimation, if men and women were to do whatever it took to ensure the comfort and happiness of his or her counterpart, there would be little or no divorce.

“Arguments would never be heard, accusations would never be leveled, angry explosions would not occur,” he said. “Rather love and concern would replace abuse and meanness.”

In President Hinckley’s 67 years of marriage, he could not remember one serious quarrel or argument with his wife.

The prophet pleaded with the men of the church “to look for and nurture the divinity that lies within their companions.” He said that harmony, peace and enrichment of family life are results of such treatment.

“The cure for most marriage troubles does not lie in divorce; it lies in repentance and forgiveness, and expressions of kindness and concern,” he said. “We can live together in the God-given pattern of marriage and accomplish that which we are capable, if we will exercise discipline of self and refrain from trying to discipline our companion.”

President Hinckley said women are endowed with certain divine qualities and that men should give them the opportunity to express their qualities and talents.

According to President Hinckley, Sister Marjorie Hinckley summed up her gratitude for her husband’s encouragement in one statement.

“You’ve always given me wings to fly, and I’ve loved you for it,” she said.



Copyright Brigham Young University 3 Oct 2004