Scott dreamed of going on a mission, going to college and someday getting married. What he didn’t see coming was a pornography addiction so strong that his dreams faded into a stark and singular reality: he got out of bed every morning simply to survive.

“I just felt like I lost control of my life,” the 18-year-old high school senior said. “You really become a slave to it and don’t know how to control yourself, which is really a scary experience. Your life becomes dark, and it’s hard to find the motivation to keep fighting.”

Pornography is seemingly everywhere, and is nearly impossible to avoid in today’s society. According to Family Safe Media, pornography is a $57-billion world wide industry, including $12 billion in the United States alone. Its revenue exceeds the combined revenues of all professional baseball, football and basketball franchises and the combined revenues of ABC, CBS and NBC.

Dealing with pornography is nothing new to students — from middle school to college — but changing attitudes and values have led young adults, as well as school and community leaders, to employ new means of overcoming this ubiquitous form of media.

For Scott, the motivation to beat his addiction came in the form of a group called Sons of Helaman, an independent program based in Farmington. The program is specifically designed to help young adults overcome addictions to pornography.

Since its creation about 3 1/2 years ago, Sons of Helaman has graduated 105 men, and there are 85 men who currently attend weekly meetings. The men are divided into smaller groups, and each group is operated by a trained therapist who has at least a master’s degree.

Scott began attending group meetings two years ago and recently graduated from the program. And he continues to attend each week to mentor others and keep up the habits he worked so hard to establish.

“When I first started, my goals were simply survival,” he said. “I didn’t want to be a slave to my addiction. Now that I’ve had success fighting it, my goals have changed to becoming something. I want to become the best person I can be. I don’t want to be a slave; I want to be strong.”

Scott explained that he, like many other young men, felt shy at the thought of attending meetings with others his age, but that the group setting is actually the program’s greatest strength.

“It’s scary initially, but the first time I went to a group meeting, I saw some kids there that I knew from school, and it kind of hit me that I’m not the only one with this problem,” he said. “We helped each other a lot, and I learned to admire and respect them more than anybody else I know.”

Maurice Harker, director of Sons of Helaman, said that getting past the tentative feelings at the start gives way to a greater feeling of self-control for the boys in the program.

“The greatest part of this program is watching these young men transition from feeling pathetic to being warriors, as we call them,” he said. “Their confidence and ability to interact with others returns, and they no longer feel like they’re doomed in life. We have the technology, personnel and skills to help, and these young men do not have to feel powerless anymore.”

Jared, who has also graduated from the program and will soon leave on a mission, had his life changed through personal hard work and the support of the people within the program.

“I just couldn’t do it by myself,” he said. “It’s almost impossible to do it by yourself. … You’ve got to know that there are other people fighting out there, and it can be such a strength to be working with people in the same situation because you help and support each other. You’re all fighting for the same goal, and there is great strength in that.”

Brigham Young University also provides help for students with pornography addictions. The counseling center, located in room 1500 in the Wilkinson Student Center, offers both individual and group counseling sessions. Students can visit the office or call 801-422-3035 to schedule an appointment.

In addition to these types of social programs, new technology allows people to filter inappropriate material from the Internet, helping to keep unwanted media out of homes and offices.

One popular program is K9 Web Protection, which protects its users against pornography and other undesirable content. Users can configure the Web protection to block or allow Web sites that hold information about different subjects, including abortion, gambling, personals/dating, auctions and download software. Besides these five subjects, there are 55 other categories that K9 can protect users from.

The LDS Church uses K9 in its headquarters in Salt Lake City, and administrators at BYU-Idaho strongly urge the students to use K9 to filter their Internet usage. K9 is also a program recommended by local church leaders, including Michael Decou, who serves as bishop over the BYU 29th Ward.

“Pornography destroys the lives of many people — good people — so we planned a special ward meeting where we went over some techniques of how to avoid inappropriate material on the Internet,” Decou said. “Each ward in our stake has been asked by the stake presidency to do something similar.”

Decou explained that having a filter on the computer or joining a group like Sons of Helaman can be an important step for people to get their lives back on track.

“Overcoming addiction takes accountability and sacrifice,” he said. “But taking those necessary actions is completely worth it when you are able to regain control of your life.”

not.that.matt.payne@gmail.com

Editor’s note: The last names of some sources in this story were omitted in order to preserve the privacy of those individuals.



Copyright Brigham Young University 9 Mar 2009